Ann Patchett on how God and her Catholic faith have changed

Ann Patchett answers a question from the Wild Card deck and discusses how her feelings about God and her Catholic faith have changed over the years.

Transcript

ARI SHAPIRO, HOST:

Every week, a famous guest draws a card from our Wild Card deck and answers a big question about their life. Ann Patchett's 2001 novel "Bel Canto" was a huge hit. She's now returned to that work with a new annotated version. She says it allowed her to reflect on what she's learned about good writing since the book was published. In her conversation with Wild Card host Rachel Martin, she also shared what she's learned about her own spirituality since the book was originally published.

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RACHEL MARTIN: Now - one, two or three?

ANN PATCHETT: Three.

MARTIN: How have your feelings about God changed over time?

PATCHETT: Oh. Did you write that one for me?

MARTIN: No.

PATCHETT: Oh, OK. So there's a lot about God in "Bel Canto." And one of the things that I found very moving when I went back to it was I was much closer to my Catholic faith when I was 35 or 34. But I still believe in God.

MARTIN: Do you?

PATCHETT: And here's the thing - if I tried to tell you what that meant, I would be wrong. The only thing that I know for sure is that whatever I know is wrong. We are alive, and that's an astonishing gift. And it seems very possible to me that being alive is God. The trick is whether or not we can keep our focus and remember that we are - for all of the suffering - the recipient of the most beautiful gift for a limited period of time, which is our life.

MARTIN: I guess I'm interested in your preservation of the word God to define that. The word carries so much for me. But I guess I appreciate that you, even though you are no longer a Catholic and don't identify that way, that you...

PATCHETT: Yes, I do. Yes.

MARTIN: You are? You still...

PATCHETT: I don't go to church, but I do still call myself a Catholic, yes.

MARTIN: Why?

PATCHETT: Sorry to interrupt.

MARTIN: No, no, no, but that's even more interesting.

PATCHETT: I am still a Catholic, and there is an enormous amount about Catholicism that I don't believe and am appalled by. I am still an American, and there is an enormous amount about being an American that I don't believe in and that I am appalled by. I am a Tennessean. There is an enormous amount about being a Tennessean that I don't believe in and I am appalled by. But I am those things. And there are, about all of those things, parts that I love and I'm proud of.

So when I was a sophomore at Sarah Lawrence, I had a humanism teacher. And it was a point in my life where I thought, I loathe Catholicism. I want nothing to do with this. And he said, if you're going looking for something as big as God, just go where you're comfortable. Go with what you know - doesn't make any difference. You're not going to pick a better religion. You're not going to pick a better set of words. It's not about the words. It's not about the religion. Don't waste your time picking out your luggage. Just go on the trip.

SHAPIRO: To hear more from that conversation with Ann Patchett, follow the Wild Card podcast.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.